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How almost dying taught me how to live

Updated: Jun 20

Living with pain, how to not be a victim, and push through to get the life you want.


So for my 24th birthday I decided to get into a motorcycle accident. Well... I didn't decided, some shit stain was on their phone and caused an accident.


PSA: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T FUCK WITH YOUR PHONE ON THE ROAD!!!


That morning, I woke up in a helicopter, wondering why my bedroom sounded like a helo-pad, it was because I wasn't in my room. lol

I woke up strapped down being life-alighted to the hospital for a brain bleed, and other unpleasantries which, when coupled with the finest-cut bullshit fuckery only the military can provide, kick-started my four years of hell.


I won't go into that and where I went, because I'm finally getting people to like me again...hehe


Fast forward to getting out, having my personal freedom back, and faced with multiple opportunities about how to proceed and move forward in life, and did what any other person would do.


I stopped completely, curled up in a corner, and waited to die.


Cue squirrel moment/

The cruel irony of the universe is that she'll keep beating you within an inch of your life until you stop repeating the same stupid mistakes each time. It's counter-intuitive, but when you experience it enough times, you realize the universe is a conscious entity that is "torturing" you because she loves you, and she needs you to be strong.


"Only the strong survive" "Natural Selection" "Survival of the Fittest"


I don't know if any of these ring a bell, but human beings are animals and we are susceptible to nature, the same nature that every other animal is susceptible to. That's how we got here, and we can't beat nature.


Here's the kicker, it's not nature's fault. It's ours.


This is equatable to a mother cleaning a baby's face, and the baby freaking the hell out.

We are all weak and ignorant, and the process of getting stronger and smarter is finding those blemishes and then removing them. People don't do this type of personal work because it strikes directly at our personal identities. It hurts the ego. Until you start accepting that it's going to hurt, then it stops hurting.


Nothing lasts forever. Good and bad.


But when that trial's over it means you've leveled up. Leveling up means things are gonna get harder, but it starts becoming familiar, and getting easier. You find other areas that need work and become addicted to self improvement.

You start challenging yourself personally, and life starts taking you places.

/squirrel moment.


So me curling up and waiting to die was literally me inviting the universe to come beat me with a lead pipe until I got up and fought back.


This is why the whole victim mentality is bullshit. It's not only idiotic, it's actually very harmful.

Imma let you in on a little secret, we're all victims.


None of us get out of life unscathed. Even if we could, imagine how boring that would be...


Everyone has something, and the incredible thing is that people who have been hurt the most, play it off like it wasn't a big deal, because they know! They know that in the grand scheme of things, it's not.

If you look, it's very easy to find someone who is 100x worse off than you are.

If you don't believe me, go kick it in a children's cancer ward. Tragedy is all around us, and it's a slippery rabbit-hole to play around, "who's got it the worst".


But people rise above all the time, because they've learned. Once you get hit hard enough, you open your eyes. You realize, "fuck that, that hurt. If I would've just _______ that wouldn't have happened. I didn't know, but now I do, and I'm not doing that again."


From that point you never go back, because it's a part of you.

And if you're stupid enough to forget, fret not, the universe will always happily offer you a reminder. (I wasn't very intelligent...)


The important thing to remember is that it can always be worse. This is the paradigm of hell.


Human beings have an infinite capacity with creation. Good and bad.

Just when you think it can't possibly get any worse, we always seem to find a way to make it worse, and it's nobody's fault but our own.

We need to open up a textbook, because despite the 20th century being so recent, we seem to already forgotten the brutal lessons learned about the capabilities of humans, and what happens when we turn over our personal responsibility to others.


It can always be worse.


So don't let it! It's really that simple.

You do that by owning your mistakes, and letting go of the illusion of control.

Just like there is no spoon, there is no controlling nature. The only thing you can control, is how you react.


All of the "stupid bullshit" out there isn't negative, it just is. And then it isn't.

Then life just keeps on.


You'll find you'll be a lot happier when you accept nature for what it is.

This is the secret to happiness. You're welcome!


The beautiful thing about this, is that when you move on, so does time (because it's relative),

and then the healing process can begin.


"Time heals all wounds"


Even for me! I have a myriad of things "wrong" with me, but I have two choices:

1. Choose to feel bad for myself and compile negativity and injuries, and essentially erode myself.

Or 2. Accept what happened and move on. Learn from my mistakes, remember what the signs looked like, take my wisdom, and move on to do better the next time around.


By doing the second and take responsibility for my actions, and my own care (not relying solely on my doctors), my body started healing. Sure I still have stuff I have to deal with that effects me, but for the most part, nobody can tell, because I don't make it a crutch. The more I practiced this, my body actually started healing itself. They're designed to do that you know. I don't blame others for my misfortunes. I accept them, and fix what I can.

Because I'm not a victim.


________


The other much more simple to understand concept is:


We can die any time. It happens all the time, regardless of age (because time is a human construct). I was fortunate to survive and learn this lesson at 24. But the majority of people don't figure this out until they're dying, or sometimes never at all.


Quit putting stuff off and take advantage of the miracle that is your existence.


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